The world of dating has changed immensely over the last several years. An increase in online socialization and the uptick of online tech entrepreneurship has led to more ways than ever before to find love online.
Older versions of online dating were limited to website connections of match-making. In 2024 however, we can meet via diverse web and mobile connections including dating apps, social media messaging, virtual meeting platforms, and more.
But, what does this mean for you, Woman of God? You have held on as long as possible to the desire to meet and connect by holy connection on a beautiful Sunday morning church service. Or perhaps serving alongside your future husband volunteering in ministry.
The longer the waiting season drags on, the more anxious you become. You start to think maybe you could try another path to connect with your future husband.
But, with the idea of downloading a dating app comes a subtle conviction within your spirit. Is this God’s way, or just my way? Sure, it may have worked for another Christian couple you know, but is this really what God has for you?
There are also connections made in various forms of instant or direct messaging apps and sites. Could a short encounter from a stranger on social media, actually lead to lasting and God-ordained love?
Consider this short list of pros and cons for online dating, while also tuning into the still small voice of the Holy Spirit. Follow his promptings above all else and you will make the right choice.
Pros of Online Dating for Christian Singles
Convenience. You don’t have to actually leave your house to socialize and connect with a new friend. You already have a phone full of gorgeous selfies to use in an online dating profile. If someone reaches out to you in a direct message, that’s a bonus because they already know a little bit about you from what you shared on your page.
Depending on which app or site you choose, you could narrow down your connections based on preference. Of course, this assumes complete honesty from others using the app, but it may be a good starting point, especially if using a Christian app. Some women have found it difficult to bring up spiritual convictions to ensure synergy in values and morals. So if you can narrow down your options to him at least being a Christian (we’ll not get into denomination and worship styles yet), initiating a conversation about spirituality may be a bit easier.
If you meet by chatting through a direct or instant message, you can learn a bit about the person through their social media interactions. This of course depends on how engaging and authentic their social media pages are. At the very least you may learn some basics such as if they have children, what types of hobbies and interests they have, how they speak to and about family and friends, and even what kind of lifestyle they have. You could have a pretty good starting point for future conversations.
Cons of Online Dating for Christian Singles
Scammers and liars abound online. Unfortunately, online socialization also creates a market for scammers to take advantage of easy marks, especially women searching for love. While scammers will try to get something from you (it could be money, access or information), a liar is just a man pretending to be someone he is not so that he can manipulate you. He also wants to get something from you, such as your time, attention or (sadly) pre-marital sex but truly has no intentions of pursuing a true commitment. While this is true of offline connections, it’s easier to create a facade in an online profile.
It creates a false sense of God’s timing. Because of the algorithms apps contain when you initially create your profile, there is a boost of visibility that leads to high interaction from potential matches. This is incredibly flattering and leads to a temporary ego boost, especially if you have been feeling invisible to men and forgotten by God. Suddenly, you're seen and desired and men are reaching out to get to know you…and man does that feel good! But, alas, it does not mean that God is suddenly answering your prayers or that your time has come for marriage. It’s just the app’s algorithm functioning as it was created to.
Discernment can be tricky. When you’re with someone in person, it’s much easier to discern and your spiritual senses are heightened through human interaction. A man’s tone, body language, voice inflections, physical touch, and what God reveals through your spiritual eyes, play a big part in love and dating as a Christian woman.
Have you already tried online dating? What pros and cons might you add to this list?
It’s important to remember that no matter where or how you meet a potential husband, you still have to go through the same process of connection, friendship building, and deciding if your lifestyles are a good match.
Just because you are both Christians, doesn’t mean you will be a good fit for each, no matter where you meet.
Also, the role of the Holy Spirit in your life should remain constant in every area. The Lord should still direct your steps and as you grow closer to him, growing in godliness, your relationship should align with God’s will, not distract you from the path of purpose.
Lastly, we are called to be in the world, not of the world. Even though we may use the same types of technology to forge new relationships, we should function differently. We must always give glory to God and honor him in our words and deeds.
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