Finding Love: Essential Dating Advice for Women Over 30
Remember when hitting the big 3-0 felt like a monumental event? This birthday was all about entering a new phase of life, where you confidently embrace your fabulous self, take charge of your future, and craft the life you've always envisioned.
The checklist for women by 30 isn't just about climbing the career ladder and feeling financially secure; it also encompasses milestones in relationships and family. There's an unspoken expectation to have found that soulmate and maybe even started a family with the husband you’ve been praying for.
Unfortunately, for many Christian singles today, that narrative doesn’t hold true. While you may have grown in your spiritual journey and made impressive strides in your professional life, finding love might still feel out of reach.
Here’s some Essential Dating Advice for Women Over 30:
This isn't your run-of-the-mill dating advice like “just be yourself” or “download a dating app.” We're diving deeper to offer some stellar tips tailored for extraordinary women.
This guidance is tailored for Christian women over 30 who are looking for a marriage that not only honors God but also meets your desires for companionship and intimacy.
Don’t lose yourself and forget who you are while dating
Ephesians 2:10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.
As you evolve into the remarkable woman God intended you to be, you’ll naturally start embracing your talents, fully realizing your purpose, and achieving significant personal, spiritual, and professional milestones. Your creativity and imagination will thrive once you gain insight into your natural motivators, and your role in both the church and the broader world, while also discovering your true self-worth.
Before long, you might encounter a charming man who seems like the answer to your prayers, sparking a friendship that could blossom into something beautiful. As you spend more and more time together, your bond strengthens.
However, it’s all too easy to get swept up in the romance and neglect your personal growth along the way; losing sight of yourself is a genuine risk. So, while you're carving out space for love in your life—investing time into this new relationship and helping him learn more about who you are—don't forget about what you need, too. Don’t forget about the personal assignment God has called you to fulfill.
It's perfectly fine to bend a little in a new relationship, but if you find yourself sacrificing your core values or investing too much of yourself right off the bat, you risk losing sight of the amazing journey you were on with the Lord.
Don’t let yourself compromise unnecessarily, shrinking down your true self to cater only to the needs of your new man-friend. Your dreams and unique purpose should harmonize beautifully within a relationship that's designed by God.
Stay focused on your divine calling!
Self-affirmation: I know who I am and what I want. I will not lose focus on God’s calling for me.
Philippians 2:12-13 Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.
Continue to Deepen Your Relationship With God During This Journey
John 15:9-10 I have loved you, just as my Father has loved me. So remain faithful to my love for you. If you obey me, I will keep loving you, just as my Father keeps loving me, because I have obeyed him.
Don’t let God take a back seat while you’re caught up in finding and nurturing a relationship. A unique spot in your heart and soul is meant for Him—a sacred sanctuary for divine love. This love from God is the truest form of love there is.
Some women may feel empty in their hearts and wrongly believe that only a husband can fill that gap. In their quest to bridge this void, they end up chasing romantic love more fervently than they seek God's presence. Often, they mistake fulfilling love that comes from true unity with God for merging their lives with a man in a loving marriage.
It's crucial to recognize that God would never send someone your way to distract you from Him. He wouldn’t introduce someone into your life just to pull you away; instead, the right man will enhance your relationship with God and encourage your journey toward Christ.
Keeping God at the forefront while dating brings incredible advantages. Your spirit aligns with the Holy Spirit, paving the way for wise choices and sharp discernment. When you find yourself in doubt, accessing the scriptures tucked away in your heart becomes second nature, and you can tune into God’s voice for clear guidance. Understanding God's personal will won’t be a struggle; He’ll guide you down the right path just like any loving father would, as long as you stay close to Him.
When it comes to who you give your heart to, not only should your purpose and dreams flow in harmony, but your worship and love of God should also be in perfect alignment.
Self-affirmation: I love God more than anything else. I will never replace God with a man.
Deuteronomy 10:12 And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you? He requires only that you fear the Lord your God, and live in a way that pleases him, and love him and serve him with all your heart and soul.
Choose your dates wisely, making decisions that could pave the way to marriage
Ephesians 5:15-17 So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.
If you’re stuck in the mindset that “more is more” when it comes to love and dating, it might be time for a change of pace. Think quality over quantity! In their quest to “put themselves out there” or “not limit God”, some women end up going on a flurry of dates, thinking it boosts their chances of finding romance.
Unfortunately, many of these women end up worn out, investing heaps of time and energy without inching closer to true romance. A smarter, more time-efficient strategy would be to focus solely on dates with the potential for a God-honoring marriage. Also, why not get to know someone through phone or video chats before diving into face-to-face meetings? It could save you not just time, but also some cash and effort!
If you've ever splurged on a chic outfit, hunted down what you think is the ultimate foundation (thanks to those makeup tutorials), forked out cash for a babysitter (if you're already a parent), and filled up your gas tank to brave a first date, then you truly get the real cost of face-to-face dating.
That kind of effort deserves to be directed toward a man who might just be the answer to your prayers. But what if, after all that hustle, you find out he doesn’t even know who Christ is or doesn’t worship God with his lifestyle? What happens if his finances are about as stable as a house of cards and he’s not ready to take on family life even if he thinks you’re his dream woman? And what if, during your calls, you pick up hints that he's not really single at all?
Another piece of advice is to approach your dating choices with your ultimate goal of marriage in mind. It might seem like common sense, but have you ever found yourself dating someone “just to see where it leads”? Or maybe you’ve been with someone you knew wasn’t on the same wavelength, simply because you were feeling a bit lonely?
Once you reach that stage of a committed relationship, it's crucial that your motivation doesn’t come from a fear of being single forever or a desperate urge to start a family. Ideally, you'll see in this man the qualities and traits you want in a future husband. Now you've made the conscious decision to date intentionally and cultivate a friendship that could blossom into marriage—rather than wasting time on someone where the chances of walking down the aisle are about as likely as spotting a unicorn!
Time is fleeting. Use it wisely.
Self-affirmation: I make intentional dating choices, all in harmony with the vision God has put in my heart for my family’s future.
Romans 12:1-2 And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
