HOW TO MAKE ROOM FOR LOVE
Do you ever feel like your life is so full, that you can’t possibly add one more thing to your plate? You may have a head full of great ideas for your life, career, or ministry, but does taking time to work on these things bring a great sense of overwhelm?
This is why intentionally making room for love in your life is necessary for kingdom wife preparation. You need space in your life that allows you to steward a relationship and build a life with someone. You need to create a meaningful space, not only to get to know your future husband while building a friendship but also to learn more about your needs as a friend, helpmeet, and future wife.
In addition to having a life filled with work, service, and personal endeavors, you could also have a full or cluttered soul, heart, mind, and spirit.
Here are ways to tell if your spirit, soul, or mind is cluttered:
You have ungodly soul ties that need to be broken
Your heart is filled with pain, hurt, or perhaps idols that have replaced the sacred space reserved for God
Your mind feels overwhelmed with the inability to calm itself without the use of self or prescribed medication
Your spirit has ungodly beliefs or demonic strongholds that require uprooting and deliverance
Your world includes the busyness of your daily activities, habits, and routines, and the invisible makeup of your spirit and soul. Your world is both what you do and who you are.
Considering this non-exhaustive bullet point list, how would a new, amazing man fit into your full and busy world? Would he blend in seamlessly or would the busyness and clutter of your world
cause him to feel unwanted or incompatible? Would the total package of the woman you are including your lifestyle, behaviors, and habits bring peace and happiness to the high-caliber man of God you are praying for, or would he run for the hills?
I have worked with many women who desired marriage but truly did not have room for the type of man they were praying for to come into their lives. If he did show up one day, they would either not have time for him, drive him away, or hurt him deeply (even unintentionally) because of their natural and spiritual clutter.
How to make time for love
Organize your life into a graceful flow
Part of preparing for your future life as a wife is organizing your life into a graceful flow. It doesn’t make sense to stop living a fun and full life (in fact I teach quite the opposite), but you should consider how you will make room for love when it’s time to build a friendship by fitting them into your schedule.
You should be able to get to know each other peacefully without either of you sacrificing your personal or professional goals. To do this you must organize your schedule and create balance and flow.
Your schedule shouldn’t be rigid, but it should incorporate a flow of routine and blessed daily habits. Things like prayer, Bible study, and self-care are a daily must. Being a good steward of your work and if you’re a mom, raising godly children should be at the top of your list of priorities.
Tap into God’s grace by choosing those good works that are in alignment with your spiritual gifts and life’s purpose. Removing fruitless and meaningless activities and you will have time for those things that are truly important and leave a lasting impact in your life and those closest to you.
Make time for the friendship to grow
You must have balance in service, work, parenting, self-care, and other areas of your life. You don’t want
to make someone you're interested in feel as if you don’t have time for them.
We each make time for whatever is important to us. It is true, however, that when your life is already pretty full, you have to take time from one area to give it to the new man in your life.
If you’re in a quiet season of singleness presently, think about what that would look like. How would you find and make time for a new friendship? What types of engagements or activities fill your downtime? Do you even have downtime?
The space that you have created for self-care and personal time, is typically the time you will adjust to build a new friendship. Keep in mind, that the type of godly man you are praying for will not require so much of your time that you feel consumed by the friendship. He should also be living a full life in Christ and the same sacrifices you will make to get to know him, he should be making as well. Building a friendship is a two-way street.
Let’s discuss the other areas mentioned previously, which you may need to de-clutter to make room for love.
Declutter Your Soul, Mind and Spirit
When your soul is cluttered with an ungodly soul tie, it will be obvious as you form a new friendship. Your new friend may not know how to identify a soul tie, but he might use words such as “baggage” or say you have “issues” when problems arise. These problems may or may not pertain to the current friendship, but are based entirely on something that happened in a previous relationship.
When you are still attached to an ex spiritually it will lead to problems in any future relationship. This doesn’t mean that you’re still in love with your ex. Perhaps you haven’t fully healed, let go, or forgiven them (or yourself) for negative experiences you had while you were together.
Whether the soul tie is based on positive or negative spiritual entanglement, the tie must be severed and broken permanently so that your soul may effectively be decluttered.
I will walk you through self-deliverance from an ungodly soul tie in the Severing Toxic Soul Ties book. It’s an easy read that leads to a powerful breakthrough!
Now, let’s talk more about your heart, mind, and spirit. We have been told plainly to love the Lord God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength (Deuteronomy 6:5). There is a sacred place in your heart that is reserved exclusively for God himself. When something else takes up room within that space, it is called having an idol within your heart.
You see, when God is on the throne of your heart there is plenty of room for love to flow, inwardly and outwardly. As your heart is filled until overflowing with God’s love, it is easy to share the right kind of godly love with a man.
God’s kind of love is not limited to an emotional exchange or mere physical interactions. God’s love is unconditional, unbridled, and unlimited. With this type of all-encompassing love moving through your innermost being, your future husband will be blessed beyond measure by your presence in his life.
On the other hand, what if God is not on the throne of your heart? What if certain idols have taken up residence in your heart?
Now is the time to do the work and fully declutter any area of your life that may prevent you from manifesting the true love you pray for.
SIMPLE STEPS TO DECLUTTERING
Step 1 - Be honest about where you are spiritually, mentally, and soulfully. In the presence of God is the safest place to be vulnerable. He can help you when you fully open up and trust in him.
Step 2 - Determine what your specific needs are to declutter. Do you need deliverance to rid your spirit of demonic ties? Do you need counseling or
therapy to heal from lingering hurts, pains, and traumas? Do you need to repent from having a marriage as an idol?
Step 3 - Take a bold step towards getting what you need with radical obedience to God. Move in the direction of spiritual conviction. Maybe you could find the right therapist and commit to regular meetings. Maybe you should fast and pray without stopping until you get a spiritual breakthrough. Another idea is to do a deep biblical study into the area where you know you have built up a stronghold (ungodly beliefs) so that you can replace those beliefs with what the Word of God teaches.
When you follow these simple steps you will begin to experience true peace. That is a sign that your life is truly being decluttered. Your mind will be clearer and you should be able to hear from God better too. If you’ve been struggling to discern his will in this season of your life, you know what I mean.
We are all a work in progress. But it is best to make strides with God decluttering your life before your prince charming finds you. This way, when you meet you can focus on creating a blessed friendship, that grows into a blossoming relationship!
Did you love reading this blog post? It’s a sampling from my book Smart Dating Rules for Christian Women Rule #10 Make Room for Love. This book is an exhaustive guide with love and dating advice for women praying for God to send them true love. Order your copy from Sarita’s Boutique!